Mindfulness

I have come across this word so many times since the new millennium. I have seen it in books and all over the internet.Ironically,I have never seen the word "mindfully". I have tried to read its definition and thought of it as some new jargon created by some one desperate to millions and be on Oprah,or does it work the other way?  In my foolish judgmental thought process and was throwing away the key that i was looking for.The universe seemed to throw it back at me again and again but i refused to look at it.Now i hold the key and look at it with renewed interest.I still dont know how to use it completely but it definitely has my attention.

As i had discussed in an earlier post,One of realizations last year was the centrality of thought in our problems. we are constantly thinking and this ticking brain creates this noise of thoughts in our head which clouds all our thinking.After coming to the conclusion that thought is at the centre of our issues i set about thinking on what could be ways to overcome this problem of the centrality of thought.Some ways i stumbled upon were-

a) Religion-the moment we want to think about any way of life which doesnt involve materialism we come to religion or at least thats where we are shoved to by the societies that we live in.is  But for me it has never held much attraction. The rituals,the godmen, they have always seemed a sham. The More i live life and experience it ,the belief that there is a personal god who rewards and punishes us for our actions is fast losing relevance.Religion,at the core of it, means a worship to this personal god.

b) Being Epicurian- Being happy all the time by indulging all that one's senses crave for seem to be another way to live where we dont get bogged down by metaphysical questions .The idea is appealing.  But more i put this theory to test,it appears flawed.So i go on this trip of trying to be happy all the time.Now what if my actions dont have the resultant "happy" consequences?,how do i deal with the situation. Are not happy and sad names of two sides of the same coin? how can i have one for sure without the slightest chance of the other? how to cultivate this " absence of pain"?-the quest of every epicurun true to his salt. So while Epicurun philosophy is deeply appealing and does lot of good if you understand it,specially as it talks about the absence of personal gods and propagates communal living,it cannnot be accepted in it totality.

c)Mindfulness-Then i came to mindfulness,or stumbled upon it for the umpteenth time in my life but this time decided to pay attention to it. In simple terms it means staying in the moment. I always understood it but i never got hooked to it as i didnt find a methodology to practise staying in the moment-ok to be fair i wasnt even looking as i didnt believe that was such a problem-staying in the moment. " i am living in the moment where else will i be living, what load of horse shit,anything to sell a book" -thats what i would think whenever i came across this word-MINDFULNESS.

But as i continued my quest for a more calmer self i came across something called as " vipasanna" which in simple terms is an ancient meditation technique which new age folks use for mindfulness training.It is basically sitting quietly and observing the in haling and exhaling of breath and move towards quietening the mind. The trick is not to try to force the mind bt just watch and observe as thoughts come and go without passing judgement on them. If the mind decides to wander with one of the thoughts you try and bring it back to observing the inhaling and exhaling of breath..
i have been practising it for over a month .My efforts have been pretty modest and i have not yet managed a session of more than 20 minutes at one go. However i do feel it helps.

it is helping in two ways- a) immediate-it helps me calm down in the immediate moment.Whatever the jumble of thoughts that arising in my mind over one or many things that are worrying me seem to go and lie in the back ground after a few moments of vipassana. my problems still exist .But i am able to look at them with a fresher perspective.

b) long term-overall i feel calmer. there have been some huge positives in my life in the last month and couple of setbacks. One of the setbacks was of a nature which i had simply not foreseen. It literally came from the blue. Considering the magnitude of the setback i have surprised myself with the calmness i have dealt with it and all the resultant tamasha. I do feel vipassana has played a role in it.

More on mindfulness and Vipassana in the days and weeks ahead.